Self Discovery
by shinebrightlikejules
Summary: Shouto and Momo take time to themselves to figure some things out.


Rolling over on the big bed, Shouto Todoroki landed heavily, sweat beading down his face and bare chest. Even in the dark room only illuminated by a single lamp, his body glistened and the dips of his developed muscles created beautiful shadows across his abdomen. His breath was ragged, gasping as if he had just ran a marathon, though he was quickly catching it thanks to his endurance training. His eyebrows scrunched in concentration, as if trying to hold onto something and, though he knew he was supposed to be relaxed, his body stayed in its tense state.

Momo Yaoyorozu laid next to him, clutching the bed sheet they kept over them to her chest. She was catching her breath as her gaze was downcasted. She looked picturesque in the darkness of the room, a thin gloss over her face and neck. Her reddened cheeks were a stark contrast to her usually pale skin but, somehow, the look only added to her charm. Momo's hair was down, splayed around her pillow like dark flowers blooming as if her body and essence was a garden. Her curves were hidden under the sheet, though, the thin material could not contain the soft and plump bends and bows of her body.

Opening his eyes, trying to relax his entire body, something deep inside Shouto felt…off. He stared at the ceiling and tried to put his finger on it but he couldn't for the life of him grasp it. He felt his mind going in circles, trying and failing to squash all leeway thoughts he knew he could not have. He looked over as if trying to remind himself, anchor himself to what was right in front of him. Shouto somehow knew that after what they had just done together, after the intimacy they had shared, that he should comfort her. That he should wrap his arms around Momo and shower her with kisses and tell her how amazing she was.

Except he couldn't bring himself to touch her again.

They had been going out for only a short while if the two could consider it that. They were stretching one day, his feet on the inside of her ankles, and somehow overheard some classmates saying how they looked good together. From there, they held hands and had private rendezvous that didn't contain much more than the two talking. Then, one of them mentioned going further and they had both decided to go through this intimate part of their relationship. Although, rather hastily so.

Shouto couldn't speak on Momo's behalf, but for him, all of this was about proving himself. In the past few months since starting school at U.A., he has grown to be more reliant on his friends and classmates but that was in regards to being a hero and being a person. There was one aspect that Shouto still struggled with but, somehow, he figured doing this with Momo would help him.

In a way, it did.

Shouto thought back to when their bodies were connected only moments ago, how he couldn't look down as he prepped Momo under the covers. How he tried to be gentle yet he couldn't watch as, first his fingers, then he, himself, entered Momo. How, throughout it, he couldn't look Momo in the eye and, instead, squeezed his eyes shut or put his head over her shoulder. Even thrusting in, Shouto gripped at Momo's soft hips then gripped harder at the sheets because he didn't want to hurt her.

But, more so, it was because he wished her body was harder. He wanted to feel solid muscle under his fingers. He wanted the thighs that wrapped around him to be strong and curved with dips from how tone they were. When he entered someone, rather than soft, he wanted it to be tight, almost suffocating around him. He didn't even think he wanted to feel the softness of Momo's chest against his own.

The disgust that had boiled up in the pit of his stomach during intercourse had returned to settle heavily on Shouto's chest. Though the reason between then and now were different, his throat was still tight as the repulsion, towards himself, this time grew. He actually could not believe himself and did not want to be anywhere near himself. While it was a mutual decision to go through this step together, Shouto now knew that this whole ordeal was rushed and for purely selfish reasons.

But he also knew that, deep down, he could not continue to live his life like this. Too long he had lived under the thumb of his father and, though he did not see this as a rebellion, he knew he needed to get past this insecurity. He needed to be able to live his most authentic self before he would have his chance at being happy.

Todoroki slid up, his abs contracting as he brought up his knee and rest his elbow on it. The sheet miraculously stayed in place on his hips, barely holding the threshold that was his private area. His mind reeled, the cogs turning to try and find the right wording to his kind-of-girlfriend after they shared their virginity.

"I think I'm gay."

His usual bluntness spoke for him as he stared into the darkness in front of him. He could not believe that he actually said the words aloud. The confession lifted a weight off his shoulders and, with the words in the universe, Shouto felt like he could breathe. He could not tell what this would mean between himself and Momo but he knew he had to say something. Living his life in a heterosexual relationship was not going to make him happy so he had to do what was best for him.

And there was probably a better way to say it to the young woman who could create anything she knew the composition of. Including sharp objects she could use to stab men in her bed.

The body next to Shouto shot up and, reflexively, Shouto leaned away and brought the arm that was on his elbow up in front of his person. He was on high alert, not knowing what Momo's reaction would be but, after having a lifetime of bad reactions, his body moved on its own. When Shouto looked at Momo's face, he was expecting her to look pissed, that they shared their virginity and he had the audacity to try and leave her afterwards; or maybe she would be crying since she thought she was the worst and her bad experience would make Shouto gay or something. Knowing Momo, the latter would be more probable. But, looking at her face, he could not be more wrong.

Momo sparkled it seemed. She was already a beautiful young woman and her after sex glow only made her look ethereal. Her eyes, though; the warm, dark eyes were so bright in that moment, Shouto was almost frozen; frozen because he did not understand what was going on. "I think I'm gay!"

That was not how he thought it was going to go.

The pair stared at each other in the dark room, their sweat cooling on their skin, chills all around them as Shouto's quirk activated. Somehow, just looking at the other, Shouto and Momo, despite the fact that they had just shared some of the most intimate parts with the other, never felt closer to the other than in that moment.

And they started laughing next to each other. Doubling over, they laughed wholeheartedly and without fear, even though this would be a small step in a long process. They had moments in their training when they flew through the sky or like nothing could hold them back, Shouto more so than Momo. However, in that moment, tangled in the covers, hunched over from their sides stitching up even though they had so much core training, they felt like everything was going to be okay. They did not know how long they stayed like that, filling the air with their fearless laughter, but they did not want to stop any time soon.

When they did stop, they flopped back on to the pillows, this time from actual exhaustion. Catching their breath, they laid on their sides, staring into each other's eyes, feeling closer than ever.

"Shouto."

Momo had begun calling him by his first name soon after they began going out and, while she never felt deep romantic feelings for the boy, which she knew why now, she always knew he would be important to her. And though she knew she never wanted him in her ever again, she somehow felt incredibly at peace having him lay next to him. She also felt so grateful to the young man for being by her side. Staring at the small smile gracing his beautiful face, she felt so happy that Shouto was the confident kind of guy that could tell her something like that, thus giving her the confidence to come out to herself. As he hummed in response, she could feel her own smile growing in response.

"I want to break up."

"Agreed." He said back almost immediately with a small laugh. He leaned up on his elbows, turning his head over to Momo, a small smirk gracing his lips. Shouto was always a young man that looked respectable and more like a young master, which seemed so unlike the stoic young man she met at the beginning of the year.

Shouto sat up fully again, this time moving towards the edge of the bed and getting up, leaving the bed sheet behind. He mentioned something about how he should get back to his own room and while Momo for sure knew she liked girls, she also couldn't say that the young man in front of her was bad looking. He had told her how his father worked him to the bone since his quirk first developed and while she knew Enji Todoroki was a bad man who has done horrible things to his family, Momo could appreciate the work that has gone into her friend's body.

Momo got up with him, finding the undershirt she had been wearing earlier and her underwear to walk him out. She was just going to walk him to the door and probably take a shower so she felt no need to get completely dressed.

"Shouto."

The young boy turned around as he was sliding on his trousers, his cool gaze meeting Momo's eyes that read every emotion she was feeling. Shouto knew that that was a distinct difference in their upbringing but said nothing on the matter.

"Do you want to keep why we broke up a secret? I don't know about the boys, but the girls are going to be relentless in asking me why." She said in her shy voice, feeling bad that she had to bring up the subject but knowing they should talk about it. Then she brought her hands up in front of her, waving them slightly as if to shoo away the notion. "But if you don't want me to, I won't even mention anything about it!"

Shouto appreciated that Momo thought so quickly as he did not even think of that until then. Mulling it over as he felt the fabric of his shirt, letting the soft material graze his fingertips. He pursed his lips, thinking carefully.

"I do _not_ want my father to find out yet."

Momo nodded understandingly. Momo could not gauge her family's own opinion on the subject, though they had always been supportive of their daughter and her ambitions. Momo knew that Shouto didn't have that luxury.

"But," he continued, turning around with a small smile, "I wouldn't mind if the rest of the class knew."

Momo blushed at the boy, happiness blooming in her chest. Momo remembered the young man that sat next to her at the beginning of the year, thinking back how he went through his days by himself not opening up to his classmates. Now, he wanted to share a very intimate part about himself with everyone and Momo could've cried in that moment for the young man in front of him. But, somehow, she knew he wouldn't appreciate the sentiment.

"One day, I want to be able to be out to the world, I think. This would be a nice first step."

Momo wanted to praise Shouto for his bravery and conviction. There weren't many heroes out today in their generation, but there were some open court cases regarding discrimination against heroes who identified as LGBT+. Heroes just wanted to be able to save the general public but there were instances where offices did discriminate against their out employees.

"Okay! I won't bring it up unless someone asks though."

Momo smiled, but then her expression grew a bit serious. She gnawed at her bottom lip, looking apprehensive, not knowing how to say what is on her mind.

Shouto, having put on his shirt, put his hands in his pockets and bent slightly, connecting their eyes as Momo stared at an interesting spot on the ground.

"Yes?"

Momo cheeks became flushed as she averted her gaze to the side quickly, thinking the young man in front of her was too cool.

She looked over at him, her face frightful. "Could you, umm, perhaps not tell Mineta or Kaminari about me."

"I would never tell that little shit anything about you."

Momo had told Shouto the extent of Mineta's harassment and, though he had never seen it for himself in the flesh, he knew he'd kick his ass if he ever saw Mineta touch Momo the way she's described, girlfriend or not. He thought it over a bit for a second and shrugged.

"Kami neither. He seems like the type to tell everyone in class anyway."

"Exactly!"

Shouto turned towards the door, ready to go back to his own dorm for a shower. Momo followed him to the door, being the ever gracious host, stopping just at the threshold of the doorway. She touched his elbow lightly, knowing Shouto couldn't handle being touched too often. Even though they had just gone through one of the most intimate things in their lives together, touching his elbow felt far more intimate. She wanted to say something important to him, so it could have just been that.

"Shouto." Momo stared the young man in his heterochromatic eyes, trying to be brave. "I just wanted to let you know that even though we aren't dating anymore, I don't want anything to be awkward between us. I know I'm not attracted to you and I won't ever be, but I think we had a something really nice between us. And, umm," she trailed off, her gaze filtering towards the floor between them, "I just wanted to say you're probably my best friend."

Momo looked up, afraid what she would see, but knowing Shouto would respect her for being brave. Her hand was on the inside curve of his elbow, gently tracing her thumb over the smooth skin there. And when she did, she was rewarded with a small smile from Shouto, looking like an actual prince.

"You're my best friend, too."

Momo would have never thought the young man in front of her would be able to say these words to someone like her and, somehow, all of her insecurities came to the surface. Her large grey eyes began tearing up and Shouto gave her a look like he was used to the tears. Her fear of not being good enough, her constant attention to fixing her many flaws, or perhaps it was the evening filled with revelations and elevated hormones, but she couldn't stop the tears from falling down her full cheeks. He wiped a stray tear with his thumb and pulled her close so that her head could rest on his shoulder. _Between her and Midoriya, there could be a river flowing through U.A._ Shouto didn't dare make fun of the crying girl in front of him and, instead, gently stroked her hair. Her arms made their way around his neck and, when she pulled back, while she still had the trace of tears in her eyes, she smiled brilliantly. Shouto returned his own simple one and they stayed there looking into each other's eyes, ready to move on from this chapter.

Until a ding sounded to their side and they looked over to Tsuyu as the doors slid open. None of them knew how long they stood there for, Tsuyu standing under the dim lighting with her expressionless eyes as Todoroki held a teary-eyed Momo – who was also in her underwear – in his arms. They all just knew that it was enough time for the elevator doors to close and for the couple to see that Tsuyu was heading back down to the first floor. Todoroki didn't know what to make of the situation and only took his eyes off the closed doors when Momo spoke softly next to him.

"Tsuyu is so cute."

There was a light blush on her cheeks at the thought that the cute girl saw her in her underwear and flustered Momo was rearing her beautiful face as she fretted over what the smaller girl thought of her. Watching her process this new development, Shouto chuckled slightly and pulled away towards the door separating the boys and girls wing. He waved back at her over his shoulder.

"Call me if you ever need to talk about something like that."

She smiled warmly, her cheeks scrunching her eyes to the point where stray tears fell. She waved slightly, though he didn't see, she felt like he still knew.

"Good night Shouto!"

"Good night Momo."

Shouto sat on his futon that night, staring up at his ceiling wondering what exactly this would mean for the rest of his life. He smiled. _It meant he could be happy._

* * *

Izuku, unfortunately, did not. When Tsuyu told Ochako about what she had seen, they both told Izuku in the comfort of Ochako's fluffy room. They let him cry into their shoulders and laps as he cried over his crush becoming further and further away from him.

* * *

Author's note: I wrote this instead of writing one of my final papers so I really hope everyone enjoys the heck out of it! Love you! Peace!


End file.
